Be kind and firm
Be related to them
Ask children to share with you their saddest time during the day and their happiest time.
When a child is upset, share a time you felt that way
Ask them how they felt about an experience on a regular basis
Have family meetings to solve problems with cooperation and mutual respect.
Teach and model mutual respect.
Proper timing; use cooling off periods and then work on problem with mutual respect
Working together on problems and all daily activities
Decide together what jobs need to be done
Give children meaningful jobs. Children feel belonging when they know they can make a real contribution
Take time for training. Make sure children know what you mean by “cleaning their room”.
This way, children will have ownership, motivation, and enthusiasm when they are included in the decisions.
Focus on solutions instead of consequences
Use positive time out. Let children help you design a pleasant area that will help them feel better.
Remember children do better when they feel better.
Get children involved in finding solutions that are: related, respectful and reasonable.
Use encouragement to help children to feel that they belong, their primary goal.
Start with “I care about you. I am concerned about this situation. Will you work with me on a solution?”
Spend “special time” with them
All parents make mistakes. When you do:
Recognize your mistake
Reconcile “I am sorry, I did not like the way I handled that
Resolve: focus on solutions, not blame.
Make sure a message of love and respect gets through
Get rid of the crazy idea that in order to make them children do better, first you have to make them feel worse.