Orthodox Parenting

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What is Family

God gave us a family in some form or another. Whether that be a loving family, a family of troubles, or a family in all other forms it can be considered a family. God meant for all of us to have a family. What you make of the family you were given or how you grow from the family is up to you...

Family_With_Grandparents

What is Family

 

I have come to ask my self a question these last 5 months. I lay there at night sometimes and think to my self what the meaning of family is? Who is my family? Why is family so important? What makes a family work? Why did God give me my family back?
God gave us a family in some form or another. Whether that be a loving family, a family of troubles, or a family in all other forms it can be considered a family. God meant for all of us to have a family. What you make of the family you were given or how you grow from the family is up to you.
The definition of family from the dictionary is as follows: a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children. b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.
What do these definitions mean? Well this is a good start to what my first question is to what is the meaning of a family. A “family” can consists of so many things, mom and dad and a son and daughter. A grandma and grandpa, and some nieces and nephews. That is one way to look at a family, and then you break it down to immediate family, which would be mom and dad and son and daughter. I was thinking and I have come to the conclusion that my family has a special connection that we never use to have. It has been 5 of us in a 3 bedroom house for 2-3 months. Everyone does there part to make things run smooth. A lot of families would be fighting, arguing, and just about quit talking to each other if they stayed in the same how for 30 days, much less 3 months. Family is so important to everybody. Some people have a big family and they hate them being in their life. Some people don’t have a family because of death or being an orphan, and would take the persons family that they hate in a heartbeat. A lot of people lose the family they have, because of reasons only known to them. I can tell you I am one of those people. I lost my family due to my own selfishness. I took my family for granted and it took me 6 years to come back to what I let go. I thank god that he gave me the chance and the knowledge to go back to what he knows I needed.
Once I determined what the meaning of family was, I now know who my family is. You can get married have kids, go to your in-laws every so often, and still not know who you are married too or who his/her family is. I can tell you that you always learn knew things about family and people in it on a daily basis. I couldn’t tell you 5 things about whom and what my family was 7 years ago, but I now know who my family is, and what they believe. My family is strong willed, determined to be the best at everything they can be. They listen and do not judge, they love with all there heart regardless of the situation, and do not falter when it comes to telling you how things should go if you follow the word of god to the best of or your ability and understanding. I love my family.
Now that I have established what a family is and who is my family, I can now determine why family is so important. So many people take family for granted and do not realize how important a family can be. Family can keep down a path of good or can let you stray down a path of evil. A Christian family will ALWAYS lead you down the path of good, and even though you can still stray from the family and still go your own way they will be there for you at all times. My family took me back after 6 years of being lost in life. Granted, I wasn’t out drinking or doing drugs, but I was lost just the same. I came back to my family apologized and explained to them that I had taken a path I shouldn’t have. My 6 year old calls me one day on the phone and asked me if I would go to church with him and his mommy. I told him I would, and I took them to church one Sunday afternoon. On the way there it dawned on me that I could possible be setting my self up for a long afternoon. I asked my ex-wife and his mom if this would English or Spanish church. She just smiled at me and started laughing. I asked why she didn’t tell me and she said you wouldn’t have come, which I agreed with her. I can tell you I have been to church every Sunday and most Friday from that day on and it’s been 3 or 4 months. My family has been my rock and my strength. They keep me where I need to be and my ex-wife, which is now my fiancé once again has been more than forgiving of me and what I have done in the past. Family will stick behind you through thick and thin, and good times and bad. They will be there to help when you least expect it, and they will be there to tell you how it is when your not ready to hear it. Family is important in so many ways, and god wants every one of us to have a family. Times will come when your parents pass away, and you feel you have no more family left to help. Got o church and find you a family that will listen and care for you, and if you’re a person who is wondering around the world that hates there family, get over your problems and go be with your family. God gave us a family for a reason, so that we can be happy and help each other in every way possible. Be the person to start the forgiving.
What makes a family work? That question seems to have a simple answer doesn’t it? The reality is that a lot of people don’t know how to make a family work. I was one of those people. My ex-wife and I wouldn’t talk about our problems, would go to bed or to work angry at each other. The only thing it seemed we had in common at times was our son. We know have communication. The church class we have been going to on Fridays tell us we must have communication between the two of us. That’s what makes a marriage work. You have a problem talk about it, don’t let it just sit there and build up, and because at some point it will blow into something you will regret happened. Also, listen to one another. You’re not always going to agree 100% all the time, but if you listen to each others point and maybe come to an agreement then it will be solved. I know as guys we want to make our girlfriends and wives as happy as possible, and we do as much for them as we can. I have come to realize that they do just as much to make us happy as we do for them. We just always seem to focus on what we do for them and not what they do for us. I know these two things have helped us greatly. If you want make a family work, communicate with the entire family. We talk during dinner, then we just talk to talk. It’s great to have communication. Also spend time with your family, we try to go to the park every weekend and just play basketball, football, and whatever else we can do as a family. Make your family Work. It takes dedication and wanting to better your family to do so.
I have asked my self this same and final question for months. Why did God give me back my family? I have come to a conclusion that I may never know why I have gotten my family back. I can’t explain it, nor will I try too. I can tell you that I am thankful everyday that I get to wake up and have my fiancé and my son in the same house. I had them by my side for about 1 year every day, and I took that for granted. When I was gone for those 6 years I would try to cover up the fact that something in my life was missing, and I could figure out what that something was. I had this cloud of I guess guilt hanging over me and in my heart for so many years. I was getting where I couldn’t sleep, b/c I would lie awake thinking at night about everything. I just couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t sleep and was always tired. I was going through a not so good break up with my second wife, and I just got this feeling to txt my ex and ask to meet me at the park with my son because I wanted to talk to her. She agreed to meet me and when she showed up I just told her how sorry I was for everything I had put her and my son through. I told her I wasn’t doing this to get back with her because of my break up, I just want to be with my son more. She told me that was fine and that I was his dad and he deserved to be with me as much as I deserved to be with him. We started hanging out and we would txt on the phone just about all night, like we use to do when we were in high school. We talked and hung out, and my son was having a blast. Her mom and dad would tell me how they have seen him just be happy that I was back. I started to realize I was sleeping better, I was happy, and it seemed she was happy. I find out that the part that was missing in my life was them. I asked her on Jan. 29, 2012 to once again be my wife, because I can not see my self without those two in my life forever. Her parents have been more than supportive of us getting back together, and have welcomed me back as a son rather than a son-in-law. I don’t know why God let me go down the path I went, but I do believe it was for my own good. I do know that it was him who sent me to the park that day to tell her I was sorry for what I had done. I know he wanted us to be together; he just wanted things to go they were supposed to go. We were meant to be apart for so many years, just to be back together, but too happy. I once again will tell you, I don’t know why Gave me my family back, but I do know I thank him for doing it.
I know some will read this and blow it off, and say that they don’t need a family. They will say that none of this could possibly work, and that they would rather be alone than be with the family they have been given, and that’s fine too. For the people who need help in finding out how to make your family better, and are thinking about divorcing your wife because things will be better after your gone, I ask you to do two things:
1. Read this and take it to heart, because I have been there and thought that. 2. Think about everything completely through before you make that final decision. I hope and pray that this will eventually help someone that needs it.

by Charles Rivette  3/21/2012 / Family

I am 27 year old Police officer, that has been from having a wonderful family to getting divorced with no family. God let me go 6 years down a path of nothing, just to bring me back to my family and to him. I am in the best place I can be and I am starting to write to show my thanks to God.